The nothing box has been mentioned a fair few times during our relationship, I just played along with the joke, even saying to a friend at dinner “Do you have a “nothing box” too?” to which he laughed and said “Oh Yeah! Best place ever!”.I laughed along taking in the joke which I assumed they were making at men’s expense, because of course it is innately absurd to think that ALL men had a box in their heads where they could purposefully go just to think about…nothing!
All those years at attempting to meditate had shown me that it is neigh on impossible to think about nothing.
So last night when I ask this he laughs and says, “Well…every guy I’ve ever known has a nothing box.”
So then he pulls up Youtube and finds this:
It is hilarious. And seems to resonate with everything B had been telling me.
But how can this be?! My previous long-term partner had been a woman, who studied neuroscience, and spent a lot of her time informing me there is very little to no physiological difference between a man and woman’s brain (she (insert appropriate non-gendered pronoun) was non-cis so this may have coloured her view point). And you hear it all the time, the current sex wars are rife with insisting there are no differences between the sexes (I’m not getting into the gender/sex debate here).
Maybe it’s just me, maybe because B is my only long term hetero relationship I just haven’t come across the “nothing box” before. But in all my studies and advocacy of gender equality I have seriously never heard this “nothing box” mentioned.
Now this just baffles me. Ok so it may not be a scientifically proven theory, you perhaps can’t prove the existence of this nothing box. But if this many men are saying that it exists and that their brains are naturally categorized into boxes then what affect has this had on the gender stereotypes, the males supremacy in ideas such as logic, rational thinking etc.
Perhaps drawing a few more lines between physiological science’s this is how people should work (in theory) and a more sociological science of this is how people do work through examination of behaviour…because my gosh, my nervous system would probably be in a lot better state if I could just go to a nothing box.
I am trying to appreciate my woman brain and how intimate all of my memories are with each other, how one thought can drift into another so effortlessly thanks to a tiny trigger like, “Oh we need new curtains for the sitting room, I got really nice curtains from a boutique in Manchester, oh that was 2006, urg I was still with N then, urg what was I thinking!”.
But on a lot of days I have often thought of how nice it would be if I could organize my brain like I do google…I’ve got my bookmarks, my calender, B’s calender, even a few friends calenders, google docs etc.Each one organized and regularly updated.
I’m thankful I’ve figured this out, I’ve now tried and tested a new method of ending a conversation when my brain is in overload of thoughts and he is talking at me about servers or the dog or dinner,
“Please just go to your nothing box for a minute.”