Letters…from past to my future.

I have been known over the years to write myself letters.

Various moments in my life when I either want to encourage, warn or to allow my future self to reflect.

I’ve just found out there is now a website for this! You write yourself an email which it sends at a designated point in the future! Huh.. http://www.futureme.org/ 

Personally I’ve always been more of a pen and paper kinda gal, and I probably always will be. There has always been a certain emotional connection with the ink and paper expressing my thoughts, which I can’t seem to get with a screen!

…I digress!

So these letters, I put in an envelope on which I write the date I should open it. The hard part it seems would be first, not loosing it in the process, then second remembering to open it on that date!  Image

I have taken to placing them in books that I don’t read often. I have a very old collection of folk tales which I decided to hide my current letter in…unfortunately I hid too well and this letter is almost 9 months out of date- Whoops!

So I wrote this letter almost 18 months ago, and my gosh it’s fascinating to read what was distressing me so much at that time, or what I was so excited about, and now it barely features in my life!

This letter mainly focuses on the period after my marriage ended, or rather the losses from my life so far, and just learning how to be single! I’ve very rarely been single, never for very long at least, and I’ve resided with the fact that some people just prefer being in a relationship. At the time of writing the letter, I wasn’t even truly single, I had started dating again *oh well*

I find this element of writing to my future self so invigorating….well maybe not invigorating but soothing perhaps. Whenever I have done letters like this and I re-read them, to find that my life has moved on, my heart has mostly healed, found new joy, these issues that drove me to write the letter are usually…absolved…

At this point in my life my only thoughts on my ex are to do with why the divorce papers still haven’t been returned, whether it’s just the UK to Australia systems taking their time, or if it’s something else. To which my thoughts no longer dwell on the reasoning, my emotions don’t get tangled up in the possible spite or sadness preventing these papers from being returned. Now, I merely sigh and remind myself it’s only a little more time before I can file for a divorce without their consent…and I move on with my day.

Then there is the rest of my life, I’m obviously very much not single anymore, and happily so. The fear in my words on the page that so much heartache may render my incapable of connecting with another person again, have not come to pass.

These kinds of words, give me resolution that whenever things look dark, give it a year, maybe two and everything can be different!

…..One thing I should stop doing is at the end adding hopes for what I’ll do doing, what I’ll have achieved by the time I read the letter…the future is never as I think I will be…I’ve never lost weight 😛

-Auburn x



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