I’ve never felt settled, even as a teenager I was restless. It shouldn’t have really surprised anyone when I took off days after finishing my last exam.
I’m only in my mid-20s yet I’ve living in 9 different cities/towns, 4 different countries (it would have been 5 if Scotland had voted for Independence!) Yet, I still maintain that I’m looking for The Place. The Place where I feel at home, that I belong, a place where I find my “tribe“.
That part of my soul still hasn’t come to rest as such, but I find myself looking back at places I’ve lived, lives I’ve created there, and thinking to myself, “Actually, I was pretty happy there.” Yet, when the opportunity comes for relocating, I’m the first to jump up and say, “Yes! Let’s do that!” Maybe I just get some sort of thrill out of packing boxes….
We moved to Ireland a year ago, and even at the time a part of me thought it wasn’t enough of a change, it wasn’t exciting enough. Today I’m sitting writing this really, really thankful that we didn’t move any further away!
I made the decision to move to Scotland a number of years ago to go to University at Edinburgh. I’d always been drawn to Edinburgh, I loved the city and Scotland seemed like a great option. But as years went by and life got hard, which led to a rut, I jumped on my go to method of fixing my situation by moving away.
I loathe that huge chunks of my friends, Facebook people, are spread out across the globe! Some times I really want to just have a catch up over some tea or wine with every one of them. Unfortunately the flight costs really put a damper on those plans.
Ireland, it isn’t working out. It’s not you…It’s me, well it’s kinda you, but mostly me. We’ve met some wonderful people, shared lots of wine and tea, drove a ridiculous amount of miles, been bitten by a ridiculous amount of insects, and have almost re-adjusted to living back in the 90s.
But, this year has also really shown me how strong some of the friendships we left on Scottish soil were. They’d even deal with Ryan air or Aerlingus to come and visit! And we are in the middle of nowhere.
I’ve spent so long looking for my roots that I think I forgot why they are called roots. It turns out, all that time I spent wondering where I should be instead of where I was, I was putting down roots. Growing attached to the culture, the people, the landmarks, the accent…well, sometimes.
I don’t know why I have always felt that home is somewhere else, somewhere I’m not. But I feel like I may have already found it.
We’re coming home Scotland!