I wanted to write this post to talk about my own personal experiences but then conversations with friends got me thinking about how this is a generational epidemic.
I’m not going to talk about the countless self promotion on Instagram, anyone with an Instagram account who types hot into the search is presented with more “selfie style porn” that I ever saw growing up! So yeah I worry about young people seeing this kind of stuff, it’s not good for self-esteem or perception of what the world is like.
I am a selfie taker. It’s true. Guilty as charged. I’m a technophobe so I don’t know how to really do any editing, I tend to try for good natural lighting 😛 Now, I can take a photo of myself, like the one on my page —> and I think yeah that’s a good photo, I’ll put it on my profile. But I never think, Awesome I look amazing today I’ll share this photo of that. I think, I’ve taken a good photo, I’ll put it on my profile and hopefully people will think this is what I look like!
It doesn’t matter how many likes or loves or wonderful comments that photo gets, they never convert into self-esteem.
I have never thought, oh that photo got 40 likes I must be good looking. They are liking a photo that bares resemblance to me…in a good light, at the right angle, for that split second before I pulled a weird expression and went back to looking like me.
I’ve known for years that I have low self-esteem, and it justifies itself quite extensively thanks to my anxiety. But then a friend who is gorgeous and confident and just all round wonderful said that she felt like none of her photos looked like her and that people would be disappointed when they meet her in real life…and my brain almost exploded! What? How could this be I asked? Your photos are lovely yes, but you, in person, sitting in PJs on my couch, are gorgeous! Which then reminded me of all those similar conversations I’ve had over the years when people have been in my position.
What is happening to us? But more importantly why are we doing it to ourselves? We are worrying about our photos being better versions of ourselves, and disappointing people in person, yet we keep trying to take fantastic photos that show us in the best possible way. It makes no sense.
I don’t know exactly how to combat the voice in my head that chimes in whenever someone tells me I look beautiful in a photo and says Yeah, but if you saw me right now you wouldn’t think that!
But this is an epidemic, I don’t know what those women on instagram feel about themselves but I know my beautiful friends feel the same way, which is scary.
Another symptom of the online world I guess.