I have a very complicated relationship with the internet, and my computer, as I’m sure many of you do.
It’s where I talk to my friends, write my book, blog, read articles about the world and other people. It’s where I buy pretty much everything nowadays, it’s where I do my banking, it’s where all my photos are.
But I feel so guilty when I’m on the internet.
The internet feels like one big session of procrastination.
I know this isn’t true, there is so much relevant, wonderful, terrifying information out there on the world wide web. I know it has countless of productive uses, many of which I employ.
But it still doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I’m procrastinating every time I’m on it.
I was thinking about this recently as I’m actively trying to stay more ‘internet engaged’, but I’d love to not beat myself up after.
I do weird myself out, frequently, in regards to funny relationships I have with things.
Like, phones, computers, buses, huge enclosed shopping centres (traumatising!), but those are other stories for later.
It’s not like I’m new to computers, I had MSN as a teen, along with myspace, but yeah that’s what it was primarily for. Maybe, potentially a school essay to be typed, but that was pretty rare… we still used pen and paper *horror*
Then when I later went to Uni I guess that’s when the cross over between social and work and the concept of procrastination really started to take a hold of me.
I think it’s when you are procrastinating by endlessly scrolling through procrastination memes that you’ve hit the bottom.
I really had to kick my own ass into gear to get through that. But I think I maybe pushed myself to far.
It is a cruel joke when you think about it. Here is a machine that can give you access to everything from NASA’s current projects, to the life cycle of Ticks, then seeing what your favourite celebrity ate for breakfast.
But don’t look. You have work to do.
Also, what ‘they’ don’t tell you is that the internet is a time hole. It seriously just absorbs the stuff. One minute it’s 9:04pm and you think, “oh I’m nearly done, I’ll just quickly check whats going on over here….”
01:37am WHAT? What happened? I just…I must have…I got turned around for a minute then wham…cyber rabbit hole.
I find that if I’ve been working on my computer, and I’m taking a break, I tend to walk away and find something to physically do. I want to start enjoying the internet again. I remember when I first discovered Stumble Upon years ago (uni!) and thought it was a truly amazing adage to the internet. It took me to so many corners of the web that I just wouldn’t think to go to usually. But I lost too many nights to it, so I stopped.
I do miss it. Using the internet for fun. If anyone has any suggestions of cool internet things, let me know 🙂
What strange times we live in.